Forgiveness is defined in the Oxford Dictionary as: to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. The word ‘forgive’ comes from the Greek word ‘aphiemi’ which translates to “let go”. After all that is what the act of forgiveness is — letting go of the anger and hurt brought about by someone else’s actions. We have all been wronged by someone. In contrast we have all also wronged someone else. All of us are human and therefore we all make mistakes. Romans 3:23 tells us we have all sinned and we all fall short of the glory of God; meaning every single one of us is in need of forgiveness.
Why should we forgive when someone has hurt us? What if I don’t think they deserve it? To answer these questions, I begin in the book of Matthew. Starting in verse 23, Jesus tells us the story of the unforgiving debtor. One of the king’s servants owed him a considerable sum of money. The king was prepared to sell the servant along with his family. But the servant fell to his knees begging the king for time and patience. The king took pity on the servant and forgave the entirety of the debt. Now this man left the king and sought out a fellow servant who owed him money. The fellow servant also fell to his knees and begged the man for more time. However, unlike the kindness bestowed upon him by the king, this man had his fellow servant arrested and thrown in jail until the debt could be paid. Word of the man’s actions reached the king and he was angry. He called to have the man brought back before him. The king asked, “shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had mercy on you?” The king then sent the man to prison to be tortured until his debt was paid off. Verse 35 concludes with Jesus saying, “That’s what my Heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.” Jesus commands us to forgive one another. It’s an act of obedience to God — even if it feels unfair. If we do not forgive, our Father will not forgive us. Likewise, we should forgive others because He forgives us (Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13).
Now you may be wondering is forgiveness a one time deal? What if the same person continues to hurt us? Luke 17:4 states that even if someone wrongs you seven times in the same day and asks for forgiveness each time, you must forgive. Peter tells us we must forgive seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22). Does this mean we count until we reach 490 and at 491 we stop? Absolutely not. These verses are teaching us that forgiveness must continually flow through us, just as God forgives all of the times we sin against Him. If we choose not to forgive immediately, we leave the door open to sin (Genesis 4:7) (Ephesians 4:26-27).
When someone has wronged us, usually our initial response is anger or to seek retribution. It is normal to want someone to pay for their actions against you. However, it is not our job to make them pay. Nor is it the right attitude to have as a Christian. Romans 12:19 tells us not to take revenge. The Lord Himself will take revenge and pay them back for us. This is an example of the phrase “let go and let God”. As hard as it may be, we need to trust Him to do what He says. Our only commandment is to forgive them, no matter the circumstances. God will handle the rest. Philippians 4:6-7 tells us to pray and tell God what we need. Then the peace of God, which exceeds anything we can understand, will guard our hearts. This peace will provide comfort and healing.
During the crucifixion of Christ, He was spat upon. He was beaten. He was mocked. He was whipped. They made Him wear a crown of thorns. They nailed him to a cross. Even after enduring their torture, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Jesus did not ask God to strike them down. He did not retaliate or show aggression. He asked God to FORGIVE them. Jesus suffered, bled, and died on the cross for our sins when he had not committed one (1 Corinthians 15:3, 1 Peter 3:18). If Jesus could endure all of that suffering and shame for us and still find it in his heart to forgive, so can we.
